I think it’s a pretty natural phenomenon to feel like all the poop is hitting the fan during the holiday season. For me, this last two months has been a particularly tough stretch of sad, hard, frustrating things.
And I think our gut reaction to this season is to want to make a 180 degree change and so we create this laundry list of to-dos that we think represents the ideal version of us. But as we know, none of this lasts.
So this year I am trying to commit to things I NEED more than things I WANT.
I WANT to weigh 20lbs less. I NEED to commit to 30 minutes of exercise outside my home and away from my children each day.
I WANT to finish my book. I NEED to get on a writing schedule with the support of grandparents and aunts and my husband to free up that time.
But even more so than the goals, I NEED to commit to learning and developing strategies for creating a healthier, happier life. So here we go. My resolutions for a healthier, kinder, more creative year.
Avoid Emotional Decision-Making
I am not a logical being. It has taken me a while to realize that. And while I consider myself intelligent I don’t necessarily feel like I am a rational person all the time.
I have a tendency to make rash decisions in moments of crisis. I also think everything needs to be solved overnight and regularly try to cram months if not years worth of revisions into a single plan.
For example, I look at mounting debt and think a single conversation about budgeting will turn it all around. Then become disappointed when my husband and I retreat to old habits.
So this year my plan is to commit to less emotional decision making. I want to commit to spending more time meditating on an issue before I bring it up to my spouse, my children, or my friends.
I want room to breathe in solitude where I can decide if a path is right rather than leaping for the nearest solution.
Put Reminders on My Phone for Joy
I know I am far from the only mom who lets a whole day get away from her. Shoot I can let whole weeks and whole months get away from me.
And I can tell myself I need to slow down or beat myself up for being a raging stress monster, but none of that helps me get any better.
After recently listening to an interview from Brendon Burchard I am going to put very intentional reminders in my phone. Reminders that perhaps shouldn’t have to be there, but that I think will help improve my day to day. Reminders like go hug your husband. Go drink water. Take Cooper outside. Ask the big kids more direct questions about their school day. Sing to Jack.
These things are small and so they’re easy to forget. But when I don’t forget them they can make a huge impact. And since this rectangular piece of technology never leaves my side I might as well use it to be a better mom, wife, and person.
Rely Less on Others
I have some codependency’s in my life. I’m very lucky to have people to lean on, but sometimes when you lean too hard on other people it becomes really easy to fall over if they don’t pick up the phone. I want to commit to a year of being mentally stronger and mental strength doesn’t come from other people. It comes from within. So in order to build that muscle I need to stop reaching outward every time I encounter stress, anxiety or fear.
Relationships do make us stronger, but if we are using them incorrectly (or too often) we can weaken ourselves.
Commit to Finding Outlets for Anxiety and Stress
As many of my above resolutions may imply this year has been one where I have identified my stress and anxiety as a true inhibitor of growth and joy. And this time next year I don’t want to be so mentally strained that I feel as if I could fall over and not get up. So I will be reading and listening to podcasts and testing methods that not only help me, but hopefully cure me of some of the disorders that stand in my way.
We can all stand to learn more about ourselves and commit to actively actively seeking mentorship in areas where we are lacking. And for me those areas or mental strength and creative advancement.
Identify Three New Mentors for Growth and Change
To that end I hope to find new voices that will help encourage me on this journey.
Rachel Hollis has been a godsend and the ramp I needed to start down this path. But she is not the only wise voice out there and not everything that works for her will work for me.
So I am actively seeking new voices in addition to her’s that can help me grow and achieve even more.
This year has been far from a failure for me.
Asking for Help
I tend to only ask for help when I’m at or beyond my breaking point. And it is usually done in a tear-soaked or scream-filled fashion rather than an organized and intentional one. The help I receive as a result is brief, limited and unproductive. I may catch a breath, but no more.
So already I am talking to my mom and my mother-in-law about them having one night each every week where they take the kids. This time is for me and my husband to be better. I will only write for myself during that time and he can focus on fitness or goals of his own. I am arranging weekends away at my sister-in-law’s (who is a nurse and has 12-hour days where her adorable apartment is completely vacant).
My children don’t need me here 24-7. They need me to pursue my passion. They need me to get true restful breaks where I can return to them restored. They need to see me achieving my goals so they have an example to follow.
This year was the year of getting to know myself better and initiating some new tactics for improvement.
Next year is the year I NEED to start renovating who I am and involving core routines that will help me find deep happiness more success and stronger love than I ever have before.
The only thing that scares me about 2019 is coming to the end of it only to be in the exact same place I was a year ago.